"English is a phunny language," said Mr Big B in a movie long ago. But 'phunnier' is how the language has been customized to suit the multitude of Indians, is it not? I'm sure we have all come across various instances of the language and its spellings being tweaked, twisted, and turned upside down, to hilarious effect sometimes - well, most of the times.
These could be through literal translations from Hindi, such as these:
- "They are given one one page" ("Sabko ek-ek page diya jaata hai" So very Indian no?)
- "I am mad behind her" (What the ...!)
- "I have good news for you, imagine?" (Yeah, I really can't imagine you having good news for me! Did u mean 'guess' by the way?)
These are closely followed by commonly used grammar scares such as "Where he is?" and "Did you got your role here?"
Wrong usages only add to the whole act. This time, I am listing a few of them down. These comprise just a few of the recent ones that I have come across and none of them (including the ones above) are made up - I swear! I'm sure there are tonnes around, if you just keep looking out for them. Before I start, let me add that this does not mean that I am an expert in English, and neither am I mocking at those who are 'behind the lines'. But hey, what is wrong with some humor, especially during these trying times, as long as you are not laughing at the people but at the joke?
1. I am vacated - my own decision (Overheard a mentor telling a young boy. The mentor was helping him write an application to move out of the hostel. Hope someone managed to correct it finally!)
2. No urien passing this area (Ah - see, I told you there was no 'urien' passing this area!)
3. Always be worry for ABC packers (What a pleasant change from packers and movers who are often a worry for us!)
4. Rent for house (Reversal of fortunes? Didn't we have houses for/on rent sometime ago?)
5. Beutycion and hair take classes also (Well, I am confused about what this salon does, but I guess I'll give it a miss!)
6. Clearns sale (Rush! a, c and e have already been cleared!)
So much for Inglish :) I guess it is all about perception and usage. You never know, wrong usages might make an entry into the language – like how prepone is now acceptable (read more on wordsmith.org), by popular vote. It's still not in Merriam Webster or Oxford English dictionaries, but maybe it will find its place there one day. Let us keep watching!
Tailpiece: I’d like to end this post with an incident my colleague told me about. A guy from another team was speaking to a person in the United States. It's their first meeting, the Indian guy has a long name with his entire family making an appearance on it, and the US person is struggling to get it right. Finally our guy spells it out, A for Apple, P for Paris, and so on. On reaching D, he says "D for Doordarshan" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If the guy in the US has fallen off his chair, my colleague is not seeing it, coz she is laughing her head off and trying to breathe thorough all that muffling. What happened finally? After 3 to 4 failed attempts our guy said "D for Dog?" much to everyone's relief!
Cheers!
PS: Names have been changed to protect me from their wrath.
11 comments:
D for Doordarshan!!!! Classic!!
D for Doordarshan.. lol!
Check out this comment from Arvind.
Btw, this popup comment box is really annoying!
D for DoorDarshan.. lol..
Here is a piece of Singlish that I learnt here in Singapore .
This is the conversation I overheard in the bus stop(I know it's not ocrrect but can't help [:)] ). This guy in the bus stop is searching for a house while talking to his friend over phone. He fed up with whatever the other guy told... So finally the guy in the bus stop decided that he can't find that house and asked the guy to comedown stairs and guide him.. this is how he asked him..
GO DOWN LAH...
This is just a sample .. there are so many classics like this, still ppl here claim English as their first language.
: ) yah you should have been around when I saw a food world add stating that there was a sale on cocks. Or the time I came across a bear shop and wondered if it would be worth buying one just to scare the neighbors. But that being said I believe I am responsible for my share of murders in the English language. Syntax and spelling have long vacated my premises and now only make occasional guest appearances in my sentences.
Sam: :)We have laughed over it so many times from then! And I really wish you were in front of me while I was narrating it - laughing with you is perhaps one of the best things ever! You make laughing so much more fun!
RR: Thanks for the link - it was really funny - the only thing I have to say in response is "Appappa!"
SJ: Godown lah! Wah wah!
Mcx: ROTFL! What was the bear shop by the way? "BARE" ?
And yes RR - please bear with the pop up window :) Older posts have it appearing below the post, by the way. :)
hey do you know about that EGL story of "D for Dog". that was the first time i saw sandhya rotfl :D i was pretty close too. ahhh, fun times those were!!!
Yes Noodlehead - Do(U)g you mean - how the guy was trying to say the name? Sandhya re-enacted the whole episode recently at her baby shower :)
Prepone was accepted in the OED ages back...I bought an edition in 2003 which had the entry...
as for interesting titles, tyre punchar is quite famous in India. I once saw a sign-board directing lost souls to Saint Mary's chappal. I wondered if the Holy Grail was nearby..
Lah is the equivalent of Da or yaar in Singy, Malaysia, Indonesia etc.
Of late I am enjoying Chinglish or Ingrish too... they keep saying "sorry for late" if they are late for a meeting and "thank you for your patient" if you have been waiting.
:)
Trauma Queen: Thanks for the info. I did not find it in the online edition though :)
Yes, we know that Lah! Lah is a word S.Jetli used very often, if you remember.
:) You will be the Chinglish Queen some day!
HAHAHA... loved this post!
JUST what I needed!!
no clue how i came here... but glad I did!
I have one more for the collection: "come on M, light my fire"
said when a guy wanted to 'beedi jalao' and saw my colleague with a lighter in her hand.
i'm glad she didn't set fire to him, instead! :D
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